went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
