The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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