Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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