Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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