did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
