Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
