4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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