he puts the penis in happiness.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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