i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
