I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
