just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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