i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
