You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
