I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
