i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize