stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Congratulations! We have a period
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
