erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
