You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
vagina is talking i cant
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
