if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
