I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize