you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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