College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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