he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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