Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
