I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
