We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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