alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
