we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
