i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
