zippers are such a cool invention
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
