Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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