Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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