he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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