But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
