Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
