I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize