Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
