Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
