Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
