Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
