can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
