No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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