Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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