Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This house was built for laser tag.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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