i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
