i just google imaged poop.
you win again, gameday.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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