At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
