I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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