dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
