Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
